I’m literally my own best friend like I have inside jokes with myself and sometimes I’ll think something funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am

(via eating-isnt-very-chane-l)

juspeczyks:

Remember limewire

Remember sometimes getting the song you were actually looking for and sometimes getting an mp3 of bill clinton saying that he didn’t have sexual relations with that woman instead

(via fake-mermaid)

Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Sylvia Plath (via myrisingvoice)

oh my god she is a fucking boss

(via glowist)

(via bianca-jadee)

sandvviches:

teacher: its pajama day
that one kid: WHAT IF I SLEEP NAKED HAAAHAAHA

(via acomas)

motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

(via crystallized-teardrops)

If a female student got drunk and had her car stolen the university would call the police. If she got drunk and had her computer stolen, they would call the police. If she got drunk and had her phone stolen, they would call the police. The fact that she was drunk would not even be factored in when assessing if a crime had been committed. But if she gets drunk and has her body invaded and her humanity stolen, school administrations are perplexed about what to do. International Human Rights Activist Michael Simmons offered these words (via Facebook) in response to the May 3, 2014 New York Times’ “Fight Against Sex Assaults Holds Colleges to Account” article. (via kenyabenyagurl)

(via darling-little-thing)

buttlicked:

PE doesn’t stand for physical education. it stands for public embarrassment 

(via zackisontumblr)

Hey Man ...

Jess🌿16🌿Aus